Aspiring Influencers, Speakers, Coaches... Here's the Truth
Aspiring influencers, coaches, and speakers want the results but not the truth😮
It's easy to become distracted by looking at the financial and lifestyle success of those who've built authority, recognition and fame.
You'll observe their appearance, their communication skills, their branding, and their content style. You'll compare yourself and maybe even believe you could do the same, or better.
Watching these influential people, they seem to make everything look so effortless and easy. You wonder why you are working so hard, when you could just do what they are doing.
They'll announce six-figure and seven-figure course launches. Wow! They sold over a million in one weekend? Amazing!
They'll receive six-figure book deals from publishers, on a book that hasn't even been written yet, based on their name.
You'll see them on big stages, alongside big names. They appear on hundreds of podcasts, TV, and in the press and media.
Now for the truth.
Putting aside the frauds that are faking it, there are legitimately successful people in the influencer, speaker, and coaching space. Let's focus on the real deal people for a moment.
Speaking from experience, I've earned six-figures in a week on course launches. I stand on some big stages with big names. I've been on hundreds of podcast interviews, TV, magazines, and even appear in a couple films.
These results are entirely possible. Some of you have even purchased those 997 buck courses from influencers who've had legitimate results, with the roadmap they literally used.
You'll spend thousands on a fancy website or landing pages. You'll invest in all the automations and CRM software. You'll hire a brand strategist, a speaking coach, a video editor.
Some of you are are fortunate to have a sizable financial advantage to hopefully accelerate results.
But you don't get the results that the big names are getting.☹️
Why?
It's because those results you desire won't happen until you've built the audience, the huge email list, the subscribers, the community, the relationships, or the authentic followers.
You're missing the people. Doing this the right way takes YEARS not months. That's the truth people don't want to hear.
It's not easy to build the people. It requires dedicated effort daily, constantly providing value and support of others. It requires building your personal brand and coaching business full-time, just like any other job. If you treat this like a hobby, you should only expect hobby results.
PS: Those with a lot of money are often the first ones to quit at building this. They incorrectly assume their financial wealth can buy faster results. They feel entitled that they can skip the line. Money can buy all the fancy media and digital assets, but it can't buy the people.
It's like going to the gym, results take years. No amount of money can allow you to skip the workout to get the results.
That's the hard truth. 🧡
The Importance of Emotion in Messaging
If you are a coach or consultant and you're struggling to get clients, maybe it's just your message.
First of all, there is the question of integrity and authenticity.
There are people selling the promise of earning a lot of money, who don't seem to have a lot of money.
There are people selling the promise of building your influence or fame, who haven't demonstrated it, themselves. They don't even have a Google knowledge panel for their own name.
There are people selling the hope of a happy and enlightened life, who seem to be drama magnets and basket cases.
There are relationship and dating experts who are divorced a couple times, and are single. But they keep giving advice on it.
If you've made it past the authenticity checks, then there is something more important about your message that you may not understand.
It is the emotion that you are known for providing to your audience.
It's not about what you do, it's about what emotion they feel when they interact with you.
While the amateurs waste a lot of time pitching their products and services, the experts are keyed into the overall emotion that their content is known for.
What ONE emotion do you consistently provide to your audience? Do you know it? Let's hear it.
-Tony
Reinvention & Professional Titles
Here's some advice on professional titles and their marketing value.
Yesterday I was speaking to a group of coaches and a few of them were just starting out their coaching careers.
They were getting too hung up on trying to be creative with their job titles. I can relate, as I did the same back in 2016.
Rather than using "Business Coach", which I thought sounded too boring or basic, I was thinking of using "Business Strategist" or "Entrepreneurship Mentor" or other fancy combinations of words.
This was ego speaking. I wanted an elevated sounding job title, just like we seek in corporate settings. I didn't want to be lumped in with a sea of average business coaches.
The huge problem with trying to be clever with professional titles, is that you miss out on all the search engine results you'd receive by using a title that people actually search for.
Hardly anybody is searching Google for "Entrepreneurship Mentor" or "Business Strategist", no matter how cool that sounds to you.
They are seeking a Business Coach, or an Executive Coach. Possibly even a High Performance Coach. Use titles people actively search for, and chances are you'll get more opportunities for clients finding you.
One of the newer coaches yesterday was struggling with using "Life Coach" because she sees so many frauds in the space, with little actual life experience, and certainly no education or credentials to back up the profession.
She had a masters degree in psychology and also worked as a therapist for several years. She had all sorts of credentials and certifications.
I explained the same ego situation I went through, to bring her clarity.
A generic title doesn't make you a generic coach. Your potential clients will seek out the qualifications and proof from each of the coaches they evaluate to work with, or at least they should.
Use the title that will benefit you with being discovered, not the one that serves your ego or competitiveness. Your results will stand out, if you have them. That's what will separate you from the others.
On another topic; If you truly want to reinvent yourself, you must also have the courage to shed the following:
- Your identity built on previous careers that no longer serve your future.
- The acronyms like "MBA, CPA, PMP" etc. that no longer describe where you're headed (people use these for ego and validation btw)
- Still defining yourself within previous industries that no longer serve you.
- Societal beliefs and actions that limit you from your future.
The courageous ones will get this, they've already moved to the other side of this. The others will wonder if they could do it. The scared will feel defensive about this subject.
-Tony
Lean Into The Challenge
Prior to 2017, I had zero intentions of ever becoming a speaker.
In fact, even when I started public speaking lessons with Toastmasters that year, I was just preparing myself just in case I was interviewed following the release of the book I was writing.
While I was writing Side Hustle Millionaire in 2017, it was with the idea that I could extract my knowledge and put it out there, to potentially help business owners.
I thought I could achieve that without being on any cameras, microphones, or spotlights. There are numerous impactful authors that you wouldn't recognize if you saw them.
As I continued to write chapters of the book, I was sending them to my Editor, Mike Fallat to review. About midway through the book, he mentioned something that I didn't necessarily want to admit.
"Tony, this is turning out to be a great book! It will likely be a best-seller from what I've seen, and people might want to interview you or have you speak."
That thing I knew I was avoiding; Putting myself out there, came back around and punched me in the face. The entire reason for writing a book was to avoid that level of discomfort.
Like most, I wanted to avoid judgment, potential criticism, societal labels, and stepping into the unknown. My own insecurities and fears were easily concealed with typical excuses.
"I don't need to put myself out there, I'm already successful. I have a family and businesses to run, so I'm too busy already. I enjoy my private life."
All of these were excuses. I knew I had a greater purpose, and I was hoping that book was enough. But I was honest with myself and knew I had to become the right person to carry that book and be willing to fight for the message to reach far more people.
Sure, the book itself may have impacted thousands on its own. But I was leaving a much bigger potential impact on the table, by not being willing to do what it takes.
I leaned into learning the skill (not talent) of public speaking. I worked with a coach, used social media videos to practice reps, and eventually I was winning Toastmasters competitions and standing on some very large stages. I learned to love the challenge, and the newfound skill.
Here's the message for you. I have no doubt that there are some amazing skills still locked up inside you. You admire others creating real impact and showing courage, while you avoid the opportunities for yourself.
It's not easy. It never is. There will be sacrifices. But tell me this, what comes easily that is worth having? Nothing.
-Tony
Personal Development Progression
Don't Listen to Comparisons
Don't listen to them. Your business doesn't have to be stressful. You don't have to work insane hours and sacrifice what truly matters to you.
Sometimes you'll see other business owners stand on their digital soapbox and try to talk down to you. They'll say things like:
"You aren't working as hard as me."
"You aren't sacrificing as much as me."
"Your business model isn't as great as mine."
"I'm better at business because I have more employees than you."
"My business is legit because I have a physical location."
"I'm better than you because I do 7-figures, 8-figures, All-the-figures."
In business, all of these lines are bullshit. They are usually sourced from their uncontrolled ego and insecurities.
I know this, because I've used a few of them in the past, when I was seeking external validation and approval. I grew up without money or social status, so I felt I had something to prove.
Back then I also mistakenly linked someone's social status and self-worth with their net worth. If they are more successful, surely they rank higher on the imaginary human status scale, right?
Some of you are thinking "I'd never do that, I'm not like that. I treat everyone as equals." But your subconscious still plays these stacking games, it's how we were taught. It's what we believe.
Need proof? When you meet someone new, there are often general questions asked.
"What's your name?"
"Where are you from?"
"What do you do?"
Although these questions seem harmless (and boring), that last question is our passive attempt to categorize someone based on status. If someone responds they are a brain surgeon, you automatically elevate them in your mind. If they respond with a lower income career, you rank them lower in your status stack-up.
Well, these entrepreneurs that hit social media with their comparison phrases are doing the exact same thing. They are making an attempt to climb to a higher (to themselves) status by downplaying those who they think do less, struggle less, and sacrifice less.
In business, we each have our own desires. No answer is correct, or better than others. Some are fulfilled earning less than six figures, where others believe they require millions.
Struggle is a choice. Sacrifice is a choice. Spending time away from your family is a choice. Feeling stressed and anxious is a choice. Wanting more employees is a choice. Not having time or location freedom is a choice.
I've built online businesses. I've built physical location businesses. I've built teams and staff businesses. I've done retail. I've done services. Each model has its pros and cons. I don't consider any of them "better" than the other. That's because "better" changes, based on what you want your life to be, in this period of your life.
Nowadays I define my idea of a successful business based on a combination of things I value. I value time the most. Minimal time, maximum net profit. Minimal stress, maximum fulfillment.
I don't care about other entrepreneurs with revenue humblebrags, because it doesn't always portray their net profit, time sacrifices, family sacrifices, mental and physical health sacrifices... and more importantly; Their sacrifice of fulfilment and happiness in life.
You don't need to justify your business choice to anyone. You simply need to decide what matters most to you, and build it for yourself.
-Tony
Stepping Out From Shadows
I never planned to be in movies, on TV, or to be a public speaker. 😮
Only a few years ago, I avoided situations where I'd be on camera or in videos. I also had stage fright about speaking in front of audiences I didn't know.
I built a very comfortable, successful life without being in any spotlight. It was easier that way. I convinced myself that I could be happy being the MVP in the background. Hiding behind my company logos.
I shared many of the same excuses that you probably do. I didn't "need" to put myself out there. I was "too busy". People that did so "have big egos, or are narcissists."
But the real hard truth is that I didn't have the confidence to be on stages or cameras. I wasn't living up to my own standards, especially the standards I judged others by.
I pursued money and material possessions and sacrificed time with people that matter most. I was out of shape. I still allowed the news headlines to control my emotions. My positive impact range only reached a handful of people around me.
On a deeper level, I have a skin condition known as Vitiligo. I'm covered head to toe with white spots. I had bullies in jr high that would make fun of how I looked. So, I learned to avoid situations that were based on appearances.
At some point in your life, your purpose will hopefully become much stronger than your fears. It took a near-death experience for me to realize it was just my own fear that was holding me back.
Here's the thing you need to understand about your fears; You will have critics. You will have haters. You will have naysayers. There's no avoiding them.
It becomes your duty to improve yourself daily, in all areas. Once you've become someone that lives and leads by example, with a strong enough purpose, then the words of those critics won't matter.
This isn't an easy journey. But neither is continuing to hide in the shadows, and never realizing your full potential.
They Aren't Better Than You...
"Just be yourself." is bad advice if you're trying to build your influence, impact, and income levels. 😮
You can hope for fairy tale zero-to-hero results, or believe that you're just a star waiting to be discovered. Understand that for every story like that, there are millions of untold stories.
It comes down to one simple question that you should ask yourself;
Are you currently getting the results you desire?
When you step into a room, do others feel your positive energy and confidence? Do they see clues about your discipline and consistency? Do they hear your certainty and authority in your voice?
Rather than thinking you should "just be yourself", you need to reframe this thinking into "just become your best self".
If you aren't getting the results you want, you must improve. If you are tired of wasting time and want faster results, you must invest money into accelerating these results. You've already wasted enough time.
People don't like to hear this, but those people you admire that are doing bigger things than you, are simply outspending and investing more than you.
They aren't better than you. They've become better versions of themselves.
This is how I help you.
-Tony
Discipline Leads to an Easier Life
The people I lead keep me disciplined and accountable.
It's impossible to lead high performers without living by example, yourself.
You cannot be average in mindset.
You cannot be average in health and fitness.
You cannot be average in relationships.
You cannot be average in influence and leadership.
You cannot be average in money.
I consistently make better decisions because I carry high standards, and I expect my clients to do the same. Hypocrisy is a choice you can avoid, based on your decisions.
I don't drink alcohol.
I don't smoke or vape.
I don't use drugs, psychedelics, or get high to escape reality.
I don't eat crap food.
I don't drink chemicals like sodas or energy drinks.
True high performers don't fill their tank with 87 octane, when 100+ octane is required for high performance.
Many people consider themselves high performers, but they usually only perform in a few areas. They ignore the areas that they are weaker in, hoping that everyone only notices the areas they are stronger in.
The fat dude hopes you notice his Ferrari, not his shape.
The fit dude hopes you notice his abs, not his empty bank account.
The weak mindset person will spend all day arguing on Facebook.
The low confidence person will hide from photos and spotlights.
Here's the truth about high performers. To outsiders, it seems like it would be difficult to live to these standards. In reality, it is actually easier to live to high performing standards, once you've achieved these levels. That's right, it is EASIER.
Life is easier when you are healthy and fit.
Life is easier when you are confident.
Life is easier when you have money.
Life is easier when you become influential and a leader.
Life is easier when your relationships are stronger.
You must make the decision to do something about your situation. Everything is possible.
-Tony
I Wouldn't Have Hired Myself
In 2007 I sold my first business for millions. But I wouldn't have hired my 34 year old self as a coach. 😮
That version of me had figured out how to make money, but not much else. I had no life experience, no self-awareness, and certainly no wisdom.
At that point in my life, I had only been financially successful at doing one thing. I still had a lot of self-doubt, and wondered if I had just gotten lucky.
I was stuck in the constant loop of making sacrifices to earn more money. Trading my time for bigger salaries, pursuing executive roles in corporate to satisfy ego "because I know I can do it."
These sacrifices included spending time away from family. I missed a decade of birthdays, holidays, and other social events. I was always traveling, and sometimes gone for entire months at a time.
But hey, that's what men do, right? Men have to "work hard" and prove their worthiness to the world. Men have to sacrifice their time, their physical bodies, and even their mental health to be "manly" in this world.
I was still living for the weekends and time off. I was eating unhealthy food, drinking too much alcohol, and I stopped going to the gym. By age 39 I had a complete soft dadbod, man-boobs and a gut. I hated tucking in any shirt, because it would reveal my shape. I couldn't even bench press my own weight.
How "manly" I had become. Rich, comfortable, and soft.
While I had the 10 cars in the driveway, the big custom home, and the beautiful wife, I still didn't know shit about life. Truth be told, that level of awareness didn't begin to arrive until age 40+ for me.
My 34 year old self didn't have the courage or confidence to do what I do, today at age 50. My self-doubt kept me from standing on any stages or being in any spotlights. Those things are uncomfortable. Those things open us up to potential criticism.
Keep this message in mind, for one of two reasons;
1. Just because someone made money, it doesn't make them a great mentor. If that's the level of their attraction, it's missing severe depth. Money doesn't buy wisdom. Only time and experience does that.
2. If you've demonstrated success in multiple arenas over a period of decades, quit being a bitch and hiding your important message from the world. You aren't getting any younger, and you can do this. It's not easy, but it's worth doing.
-Tony