Don't Listen to Comparisons
Don't listen to them. Your business doesn't have to be stressful. You don't have to work insane hours and sacrifice what truly matters to you.
Sometimes you'll see other business owners stand on their digital soapbox and try to talk down to you. They'll say things like:
"You aren't working as hard as me."
"You aren't sacrificing as much as me."
"Your business model isn't as great as mine."
"I'm better at business because I have more employees than you."
"My business is legit because I have a physical location."
"I'm better than you because I do 7-figures, 8-figures, All-the-figures."
In business, all of these lines are bullshit. They are usually sourced from their uncontrolled ego and insecurities.
I know this, because I've used a few of them in the past, when I was seeking external validation and approval. I grew up without money or social status, so I felt I had something to prove.
Back then I also mistakenly linked someone's social status and self-worth with their net worth. If they are more successful, surely they rank higher on the imaginary human status scale, right?
Some of you are thinking "I'd never do that, I'm not like that. I treat everyone as equals." But your subconscious still plays these stacking games, it's how we were taught. It's what we believe.
Need proof? When you meet someone new, there are often general questions asked.
"What's your name?"
"Where are you from?"
"What do you do?"
Although these questions seem harmless (and boring), that last question is our passive attempt to categorize someone based on status. If someone responds they are a brain surgeon, you automatically elevate them in your mind. If they respond with a lower income career, you rank them lower in your status stack-up.
Well, these entrepreneurs that hit social media with their comparison phrases are doing the exact same thing. They are making an attempt to climb to a higher (to themselves) status by downplaying those who they think do less, struggle less, and sacrifice less.
In business, we each have our own desires. No answer is correct, or better than others. Some are fulfilled earning less than six figures, where others believe they require millions.
Struggle is a choice. Sacrifice is a choice. Spending time away from your family is a choice. Feeling stressed and anxious is a choice. Wanting more employees is a choice. Not having time or location freedom is a choice.
I've built online businesses. I've built physical location businesses. I've built teams and staff businesses. I've done retail. I've done services. Each model has its pros and cons. I don't consider any of them "better" than the other. That's because "better" changes, based on what you want your life to be, in this period of your life.
Nowadays I define my idea of a successful business based on a combination of things I value. I value time the most. Minimal time, maximum net profit. Minimal stress, maximum fulfillment.
I don't care about other entrepreneurs with revenue humblebrags, because it doesn't always portray their net profit, time sacrifices, family sacrifices, mental and physical health sacrifices... and more importantly; Their sacrifice of fulfilment and happiness in life.
You don't need to justify your business choice to anyone. You simply need to decide what matters most to you, and build it for yourself.
-Tony
Stepping Out From Shadows
I never planned to be in movies, on TV, or to be a public speaker. 😮
Only a few years ago, I avoided situations where I'd be on camera or in videos. I also had stage fright about speaking in front of audiences I didn't know.
I built a very comfortable, successful life without being in any spotlight. It was easier that way. I convinced myself that I could be happy being the MVP in the background. Hiding behind my company logos.
I shared many of the same excuses that you probably do. I didn't "need" to put myself out there. I was "too busy". People that did so "have big egos, or are narcissists."
But the real hard truth is that I didn't have the confidence to be on stages or cameras. I wasn't living up to my own standards, especially the standards I judged others by.
I pursued money and material possessions and sacrificed time with people that matter most. I was out of shape. I still allowed the news headlines to control my emotions. My positive impact range only reached a handful of people around me.
On a deeper level, I have a skin condition known as Vitiligo. I'm covered head to toe with white spots. I had bullies in jr high that would make fun of how I looked. So, I learned to avoid situations that were based on appearances.
At some point in your life, your purpose will hopefully become much stronger than your fears. It took a near-death experience for me to realize it was just my own fear that was holding me back.
Here's the thing you need to understand about your fears; You will have critics. You will have haters. You will have naysayers. There's no avoiding them.
It becomes your duty to improve yourself daily, in all areas. Once you've become someone that lives and leads by example, with a strong enough purpose, then the words of those critics won't matter.
This isn't an easy journey. But neither is continuing to hide in the shadows, and never realizing your full potential.
They Aren't Better Than You...
"Just be yourself." is bad advice if you're trying to build your influence, impact, and income levels. 😮
You can hope for fairy tale zero-to-hero results, or believe that you're just a star waiting to be discovered. Understand that for every story like that, there are millions of untold stories.
It comes down to one simple question that you should ask yourself;
Are you currently getting the results you desire?
When you step into a room, do others feel your positive energy and confidence? Do they see clues about your discipline and consistency? Do they hear your certainty and authority in your voice?
Rather than thinking you should "just be yourself", you need to reframe this thinking into "just become your best self".
If you aren't getting the results you want, you must improve. If you are tired of wasting time and want faster results, you must invest money into accelerating these results. You've already wasted enough time.
People don't like to hear this, but those people you admire that are doing bigger things than you, are simply outspending and investing more than you.
They aren't better than you. They've become better versions of themselves.
This is how I help you.
-Tony
Discipline Leads to an Easier Life
The people I lead keep me disciplined and accountable.
It's impossible to lead high performers without living by example, yourself.
You cannot be average in mindset.
You cannot be average in health and fitness.
You cannot be average in relationships.
You cannot be average in influence and leadership.
You cannot be average in money.
I consistently make better decisions because I carry high standards, and I expect my clients to do the same. Hypocrisy is a choice you can avoid, based on your decisions.
I don't drink alcohol.
I don't smoke or vape.
I don't use drugs, psychedelics, or get high to escape reality.
I don't eat crap food.
I don't drink chemicals like sodas or energy drinks.
True high performers don't fill their tank with 87 octane, when 100+ octane is required for high performance.
Many people consider themselves high performers, but they usually only perform in a few areas. They ignore the areas that they are weaker in, hoping that everyone only notices the areas they are stronger in.
The fat dude hopes you notice his Ferrari, not his shape.
The fit dude hopes you notice his abs, not his empty bank account.
The weak mindset person will spend all day arguing on Facebook.
The low confidence person will hide from photos and spotlights.
Here's the truth about high performers. To outsiders, it seems like it would be difficult to live to these standards. In reality, it is actually easier to live to high performing standards, once you've achieved these levels. That's right, it is EASIER.
Life is easier when you are healthy and fit.
Life is easier when you are confident.
Life is easier when you have money.
Life is easier when you become influential and a leader.
Life is easier when your relationships are stronger.
You must make the decision to do something about your situation. Everything is possible.
-Tony
I Wouldn't Have Hired Myself
In 2007 I sold my first business for millions. But I wouldn't have hired my 34 year old self as a coach. 😮
That version of me had figured out how to make money, but not much else. I had no life experience, no self-awareness, and certainly no wisdom.
At that point in my life, I had only been financially successful at doing one thing. I still had a lot of self-doubt, and wondered if I had just gotten lucky.
I was stuck in the constant loop of making sacrifices to earn more money. Trading my time for bigger salaries, pursuing executive roles in corporate to satisfy ego "because I know I can do it."
These sacrifices included spending time away from family. I missed a decade of birthdays, holidays, and other social events. I was always traveling, and sometimes gone for entire months at a time.
But hey, that's what men do, right? Men have to "work hard" and prove their worthiness to the world. Men have to sacrifice their time, their physical bodies, and even their mental health to be "manly" in this world.
I was still living for the weekends and time off. I was eating unhealthy food, drinking too much alcohol, and I stopped going to the gym. By age 39 I had a complete soft dadbod, man-boobs and a gut. I hated tucking in any shirt, because it would reveal my shape. I couldn't even bench press my own weight.
How "manly" I had become. Rich, comfortable, and soft.
While I had the 10 cars in the driveway, the big custom home, and the beautiful wife, I still didn't know shit about life. Truth be told, that level of awareness didn't begin to arrive until age 40+ for me.
My 34 year old self didn't have the courage or confidence to do what I do, today at age 50. My self-doubt kept me from standing on any stages or being in any spotlights. Those things are uncomfortable. Those things open us up to potential criticism.
Keep this message in mind, for one of two reasons;
1. Just because someone made money, it doesn't make them a great mentor. If that's the level of their attraction, it's missing severe depth. Money doesn't buy wisdom. Only time and experience does that.
2. If you've demonstrated success in multiple arenas over a period of decades, quit being a bitch and hiding your important message from the world. You aren't getting any younger, and you can do this. It's not easy, but it's worth doing.
-Tony
Wants Vs. Needs - with Tony Whatley EP 296
I posted this photo of my driveway in 2010. Most people could appreciate the work required to build results, but a few could not understand it.
"Why do you need so many cars?"
"I'd hate to see your car insurance bill."
"Must be nice."
The truth is that nobody *needs* anything above our basic human needs. Food, shelter, security, companionship, etc...
There is a huge mindset shift that occurs between Needs vs Wants.
I cover this in Episode 296. Some of you still won't get it, but many others will. It's all about raising your self awareness. 🏁
Internet Marketers Ignore The Truth
Internet marketers ignore the obvious truth about their success. 😮
How many times have you seen one of your favorite marketers make a post telling you how they earned 100K in a week, or maybe even a million on a launch?
The good ones aren't lying about their result. I've even earned over 100K in a week during a program launch, and I'm not a celebrity.
It's not easy to achieve results like this. It's actually a rare exception, even if these marketers make it appear easy to do or duplicate.
The part they conveniently skip past, is the requirement to have a sizable audience or following, first. It's relatively predictable to earn a six or seven figure launch, if you've built a legit six or seven figure following or community.
Most of you don't have the audience or following. You can't skip that part. Even if you buy their courses and learn their course/program launch tactics, you'd be lucky to earn a grand, without the audience.
So the real challenge becomes "How do I build an audience or followers?"
The answer to that question isn't desirable or easy. Most of you are too impatient to do the work, consistently over YEARS to create that result. Your impatience has you quitting or pivoting after only a few months.
Then you fall into the trap of buying fake followers to appear bigger than you are. That only further dilutes your message, because now even fewer of your legit audience will see your content.
Many of you join groups, hoping you can use those groups as your own audience. That doesn't work. So you join other groups and keep trying to do the same thing, semi-spamming the groups and trying to be clever with your self-promo posts. People are smarter than you think, they see right through it.
There are specific skill sets you should focus on, if you want to become a leader or become more influential. Communication skills. Active listening. Power and positioning tactics. Becoming more bold with your thoughts and words, and so on. Quit playing middle-of-the-road and trying to make people like you.
Understand that six and seven figure weeks actually require years of effort and improvement to achieve that result. It isn't as easy as these marketers try to make you believe. The results they get have taken years to achieve.
Tony
You Were Better Before Your Success
You were probably better before you reached success.😮
This is a painful observation I've held for a couple decades now. Several of you also have witnessed it or lived it, but nobody wants to admit it.
Yes, a better version of you existed before you achieved financial comfort.
Remember when you were younger how you were fighting to make a name and build a reputation for yourself? You put in tremendous hours of labor, marked with tears, sweat, and sometimes even blood.
You were dedicated to seeking new skills and consistently studied new knowledge. You couldn't wait to try out new things, testing your new skills, and learning from certain failure.
Remember taking bigger risks? Whether this was at your job or startup, you clearly understood the path to climb that corporate ladder on the organization chart was to establish decisiveness, leadership, and responsibility. You were willing to bet your job on some big moves to hit bigger rewards for the company.
You were hungry back then. You played a more aggressive game. You invested into yourself to create separation from the pack.
So, what happened to that version of you?
Back when I was a hiring manager in corporate, I saw this cycle repeat itself over and over with people that I'd hire. I used to think it was random, but after a decade of seeing it, I knew it was the norm.
I'd hire a young engineer, someone who aced the interview and had the right attitude and showed great potential. They were a cultural fit for the organization.
They'd come in and work hard. They absorbed knowledge and skills like a dry sponge. They were eager, determined, and willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done and the company to win. They dressed well and took care of themselves. They'd get promoted from those entry level roles. So far, so good.
Around the six-figure income mark, things changed drastically. Most of these people were solid employees, but they lost their drive and hunger for more. They stopped taking risks and betting their name on results they knew they could achieve, but didn't.
They upgraded their lifestyles. New home, new car, fun hobbies for the weekend. I'm big on rewarding yourself, but have never wanted to settle. I see these rewards as milestones on the journey up the mountain, not stopping points or end goals.
They let their physical health fade. They no longer cared about how they dressed or their own appearance. They no longer invested in new skills or knowledge. They just blended in with the rest of the pack. Nobody wanted to stand out. Life became status quo and on cruise control.
Has your success damaged you? Do you still have that drive? Do you still take care of yourself? Do you still learn new skills and knowledge?
Do you still bet on yourself? Do you still believe in your potential?
What does your momentum say? What does your mirror say?
I challenge you to keep climbing in all areas of life. This is what it means to become "365 Driven."
-Tony
Before I Became a Business Coach
Before I became a business coach:
Corporate Experience
- I put myself through engineering school while working full-time labor jobs.
- Led multi-national teams of up to 75 people.
- Managed up to $200M joint ventures and global projects, with $1M operational daily burn rates.
- Joined a startup and led the technical bidding strategy which resulted in $1 Billion in awarded contracts in the first year.
- Utilized legal contracts expertise to successfully reject 96% of unsolicited change orders, protecting my client from $4.8M in one year.
- I’ve received over $1M in corporate training in leadership, operational development, contracts, processes, risk management, communications, and Human Resources.
- Worked extended months in UK, France, Italy, Angola, and Rep of Congo.
- Member of three M&A project teams, resulting in two 8-figure and one 9-figure acquisitions.
Personal Experience
- Active entrepreneur since my first LLC in 2001.
- Started 9 companies/ brands, failed at 5, succeeded in 4.
- Built and led two online communities with hundreds of thousands of registered members.
- Built a digital marketing creative agency which consisted of website design, logo design, cart implementations, and marketing creative.
- Built multiple 7-figure companies with zero loans, zero capital raises, zero debt.
- Sold two brands/ assets for millions net. LS1tech and PerformanceTrucks
- Nominated to serve on the SEMA marketing advisory team, still active there.
- Helped/ advised 12 of my former staff members and friends build 7, 8, and 9 figure businesses over the last 20 years.
This is why I’m qualified to do what I do. It’s who I am, and always have been.
-Tony
Becoming The Side Hustle Millionaire - with Desiree Maya - EP 279
In this special guest episode, Desiree Maya - host of the "Born Unbreakable" podcast interviews Tony Whatley.
Follow Desiree at Instagram
Find Desiree's podcast at BornUnbreakable.com