Being Emotional About Money = Bad Decisions
Being emotional about money leads to bad decisions😮
With the global economic disruptions and unpredictability we've seen lately, it's important to separate emotions from decisions.
A scarcity or fear mindset around money has cost people fortunes, whether we're talking business, investing, or career path trajectories.
I used to have that scarcity mindset about money. It's because I grew up without money, and money was hard to come by, and money was the reason for a lot of arguments I witnessed.
Money was therefore an emotional topic, and unfortunately on the negative side of emotions. This is how most people experience money.
Too many of us worry about losing money. We fear wasting money. We see the world as a zero sum game; "For every winner there is an equal loser." We then become skeptics, or worse; Pessimists about any financial decision.
Not enough people focus on the potential upsides of money. An understanding that money is created by your effort, and that it is endless in supply. An understanding that whatever we lose, can also be replaced. An understanding that some expenses are actually investments that pay off for years, or a lifetime.
So, how did I break that scarcity mindset about money?
There are several lessons, but I'll share a few that should raise your self-awareness, so that you make better decisions (and actions).
Start by reframing the words and sentences you use, regarding money. Also notice the phrases that others use around you, to gauge their own awareness levels.
Common phrase:
"I can't afford that." (this shuts off your brain)
Replace with:
"How can I afford that?" (this engages your brain to problem solve)
Think about this, I'll bet there have been things in your life that you could not afford, but you figured it out and made it happen. When we want something bad enough, we always figure it out. That's an example of the differences between the phrases above.
When considering purchases vs investments:
Common phrase:
"How much will that cost me?" (scarcity - "cost" signals lost)
Replace with:
"What is the investment? What's the return on this investment?"
Notice that the pessimistic common phrase may lead you to decline to take action, where as understanding the long-term benefits may create a positive action. Also note that a return on an investment isn't always financial. It could be joy, more free time, more comfort, access to opportunity, etc.
The second lesson came through my corporate career. Chances are, you are also having to make financial decisions at work, especially if you aspire to make it to middle-management and higher.
As a young Jr Project Manager in oil/gas, I remember managing some small projects that were in the 750K-1M range, and feeling super nervous about making decisions because it seemed like that was a lot of money to me. Signing a purchase order for 100K would make me feel anxiety.
Twenty years later, I was managing projects in the 200M-300M range, and I was approving purchase orders for 50-100M, with zero anxiety or stress. I also led the technical bid strategy for a startup that landed 1 Billion in awarded contracts in a single year.
What was the difference between the stressed younger version vs the experienced later version of me? I had learned to make important decisions, regardless of the money size. I had to learn to separate emotions from critical decisions.
It's normal to feel an emotion about money, and that will change for you (hopefully) over time. The successful have learned to separate their emotions from decisions. They've learned to rely on logic, calculations, experience, risk mitigation, and understanding the difference between investments vs wasteful spending.
Whenever you're feeling panic, doom and gloom, or anxiety about financial decisions, that's a huge indicator that you're moving away from logic. It should serve as a warning.
The pros go back to logic, calculations, and experience to make financial decisions. They capitalize on emotional buyers and sellers.
-Tony
Selling a Business is a Time Machine
Selling a successful business is a time machine.😮
During my group coaching call this week, I spoke about the relatively unknown game that is being played in business; Exits and acquisitions.
It's heartbreaking to have hundreds of conversations with owners who were seeking guidance on selling their companies... only for them to discover their companies weren't worth buying.
Data suggests that only about 20% of businesses are acquired, because the majority of them aren't building enterprise value that attracts a potential buyer. And for those that do sell, the average sale is only in the ~200K range.
I want to raise your awareness of this bigger game. For a moment, step outside of your focus on daily operations and think beyond your current phase of business. If you don't, you'll miss out on potentially life-changing opportunities.
Building and selling a company for millions is a time machine for those of us that didn't grow up rich, or have a trust fund.
I didn't realize this until after I sold my first company in 2007. It wasn't even a thought I considered, because I didn't know anyone with the experience, and nobody was sharing this perspective with others.
With a 5X multiple on exit valuation, some inexperienced owners only see that as 5 years profit placed in their hands, in advance. While 5 years is good, they've not understood the complete time travel aspect, yet.
Prior to the sale, I enjoyed a healthy multi-6-figure annual income for several years. But even at that income level, it would have taken me 20+ years to maintain the lifestyle I had, and also save up an additional 7-figures in my bank account.
Don't believe me? How many decades do most people have to work with a 6-figure income, in order to save up a million in 401K? It's a long, long time.
💥Boom! 20 Years of time travel in terms of financial liquidity standings. I actually estimate that every million is worth about 20 years for a 6-figure salary earner.
Then you have the time freedom aspect to consider. If you own a profitable business, you can keep working another 5 years doing the same routine, or you could sell it and earn your 5+ years in profit in one day. What could you do with another 5+ years in your life?
💥Boom! Instantly 5+ years of your time that you would have spent working, returned back to your life. When our average age of death is 80, every year counts.
Time and location freedom are more valuable than most will understand. You can't fully understand the value of these, until you experience them for yourself.
Consider this; Your goal isn't just building a business. You need to start thinking of it as building a time machine. The more profitable the business, the bigger the time machine it is.
I've been enjoying this time travel for nearly 20 years now. I love helping others build their own time machines.
-Tony
Scammers & Frauds Won't Like This Article
Let's expose the tactics that frauds and scammers still use 😮
With all the recent Federal fraud busts in the entrepreneur and marketing space (see my post from yesterday) I'm going to share some tips to help you protect yourself. Feel free to add to the tips.
I spend a lot of time and energy on this subject, because I've been a victim of theft. I also put a pause on my mission to coach business owners for 18 months, because I knew I'd be stepping into the pool of sharks, and I knew I'd be compared with them until proven otherwise.
It's been nearly 20 years since I sold my first company. When you have money, you can count on opportunists and grifters to try to get into your circle. Now I have 20 years experience of observing these frauds, and see their patterns and repeated habits.
Here are my red flags. 🚩
1) Money Bundlers. These people are always talking a big game, always asking for money from other people. They always talk about "capital raises" and their investment opportunities. If you have an audience, they want to get in front of it. Good leaders protect their audience, they don't sell them out. The REAL successful people in this arena rarely ask for money in public. Investors KNOW they are successful, and approach and ask them to get into their deals.
2) Religious Marketers. There isn't anything wrong with being religious, but you should be on high alert if someone is using religion as part of their personal branding, to sell you a course or investment "opportunity". Many of these unethical frauds will purposely use religion as a smokescreen, to hide their lies. Red flag.
3) Get Rich Quick GooRoos. This group is by far the largest of them. Any time I see someone promising you 6-figures this or 7-figures that, while telling you it's passive and that you don't have to work... all bullshit. Bonus bullshit points if they have some "10-Step" program or cookie-cutter one-size fits all "framework" to success. Their keynote speeches talk about "prosperity" and "millionaire mindset". Red flag.
So how do you protect yourself? 🛡
Do your research. You have zero excuses now that the internet exists. Look past their hype marketing and focus on reality.
Most of these frauds have no long-term history of success. I'm talking 10+ years of proven success. Scroll back far enough on their social media, and you can usually see where the Lambo first arrived for their guru pics. Check the dates. Look for actual evidence of their lifestyle going back over a decade.
Don't be fooled by their follower counts. On every platform you can purchase fake followers, fake post comments, fake likes, fake subscribers, fake podcast downloads. Use tools like SocialBlade(.com) to see spikes where they bought thousands of followers in a week. People that want to argue about this are usually guilty, themselves. "I didn't know better." Bullshit. You knew it was fake when you swiped your credit card.
Use paid background check apps. There are several options. This shit is pure comedy! You'd be amazed at some of the BIG names that you admire, and how fraudulent they are. These background checks reveal criminal history, bankruptcies, divorces, restraining orders, name/alias changes, and even show their residential address and what vehicles are registered to them. With that info, you can use Google Maps to view their "mansions". Some of these gooroos don't even show up on searches... because they aren't using their real names. Red flag!
Ask around. Speak with former clients they've worked with. Speak with former employees of their companies. Speak with former leaders of their groups. So many of you skip this, and defend these frauds until they turn against you. "Well, he/she treats me fairly, so they are okay" Bullshit. Recognize patterns, they keep repeating. You'll be next.
That should get you started. Hell, try these searches on me! 😘
-Tony
Why Most Remain Stuck Where They're At
Here's why most people remain stuck where they're at 😮
Last night on my coaching call, I explained the most common reason that people climb to some level and then get stuck there.
It's because they've stopped making sacrifices and stopped taking risks. They've achieved some level of comfort, and have become content or complacent.
If comfort was always your goal, there's nothing wrong with this. If that's you, then you may stop reading this message.
If you're still reading this, you know you want more from life. You can sense your higher potential and greater purpose. But, you are wondering why things aren't progressing like they used to.
"What got you here, won't get you there."
I have no doubt that you've made some hard sacrifices in life to get where you currently are. You've made life decisions that weren't clear to others at the time. You've taken risks and bet on yourself. You've failed, you've won, you kept going.
Then comfort arrived for you. Your bills are paid. You finally had some extra spending money to enjoy interests. You upgraded your home, your car, your clothes. Friends and family are proud of you and say "you've made it."
Society is an interesting trap we navigate. As our income, status, and confidence all begin to elevate; Climbing the corporate and social ladders, we begin doing less of what got us here.
We stop taking risks. We stop making sacrifices, even if temporary. We'll do anything to protect our current income and perceived social status.
We'll even fake our own confidence, knowing that we actually live in fear of losing everything.
Here's how you get unstuck.
1) Play chess, not checkers. In checkers, your basic moves are always forward, you cannot move backwards. If you follow that rule with your life, you'll resist moving backwards in income level or status. Chess is a far more advanced game. To master chess, you'll understand that sometimes it is necessary to move backwards to strategize winning the entire game.
2) Stop worrying what others will think about you. If you downgrade your lifestyle, your home, your vehicle, sure - some people will gossip and talk about you. These are usually other people who reached some level and got stuck, themselves. They're no longer stacking wins, so they need to point out other people's losses to feel better about being stuck. Temporary sacrifice to get ahead is honorable and takes courage, and those people have neither.
3) Continuously invest in new skills and knowledge. Learning is something we do, not something we did. Your entire life should be dedicated to learning new things, especially skills that move you closer to your purpose or dreams. Don't say you can't afford it if you have items you could sell, or a lifestyle you can downgrade. Again, playing chess - move backwards now to move ahead later!
I hope this message reaches you. I hope it reaches your friends that also need to hear it.
P.S. That car in the pic was the Nissan I drove while I was putting myself through college. It was the worst vehicle I've ever owned, and it left me stranded numerous times. As a car enthusiast, I had to put aside my ego and "car guy" identity for several years to focus on what was important. That was just one sacrifice of many that I've made, and I continue to make.
-Tony
Become More Courageous
As a child, I wanted to become three things; Race car driver, fighter pilot, or stuntman 🤩
I've always had the daredevil personality, enjoying activities that most people prefer to avoid.
That being said, I wouldn't ever label myself as an "adrenaline junkie". That's because I don't do these things to increase my heart rate. In fact, I'm relatively calm in high stress, fearful situations.
Why am I calm? It's because I've prepared. I've calculated the risks. I've practiced and done hundreds of reps. I've failed extensively and kept trying again.
I've also learned to control my emotions because I understand mental clarity is required when successfully executing stressful situations. When distracted by emotions, you'll make costly errors.
So, how do you become more courageous and learn more emotional control? Here are some tips:
1) Memento Mori. This is Latin for "Remember you must die." Accept this as fact. You can live your entire life fearing death, but you will never escape the outcome. We all die. If you're always playing safe, I'd say you haven't lived. Take more chances.
2) Self-Awareness. Don't blame your temper on your parents. You control your actions and your words, not them. When things trigger you emotionally, learn to pause before you respond. Emotionally weak people react, wise self-aware people respond. Practice this every day, in common situations... such as road-rage situations.
3) Challenge yourself by doing difficult things. A good example is public speaking, it's ranked 2nd among all fears... right after the fear of dying. Public speaking won't kill you. Everyone can do this, it just takes investing in skills and doing the reps. Hire a coach, join Toastmasters, face your fears. Your confidence will increase each time you overcome a fear.
4) Stop giving up and quitting too soon, or pivoting too often. This is unfortunately a common habit. If you set goals, become relentless and keep pushing to improve. Many of my successes have come as a result of simply outlasting others. Think in terms of 5-10 years, not months. Your confidence takes a dive every time you quit, every time you pivot. Avoid that!
Hope this message helps. 🧡
Entrepreneurship Burnout?
Entrepreneurship burnout is a real thing and I blame it mostly on one thing.
Goal addiction.
You'll set business goals, pursue them relentlessly, achieve them, and then think "What's next?"
You're always pushing yourself to "think bigger" and "work harder" all while being your own worst critic. You carry the weight of shame of "not being where you should be, by now."
You'll create an identity around being "consistent" or being the "hardest worker in the room."
This cycle repeats itself, forever. The only two options to break this cycle are 1) Literally dying or 2) Becoming aware of patterns and making conscious changes.
The personal development space has created a vacuum where logic cannot breathe, due to an overabundance of inputs telling you to pursue things based on the emotion of feeling lack.
The intentions behind these motivational messages are good, but they never consider the sacrifice and damage that occurs, as a result.
Entrepreneurs have a long history of pursuing success...
But sacrificing their relationships, or getting divorced.
But losing their physical health and fitness.
But struggle with mental health, and cope with drugs or booze
So what are the required changes?
- Learn to feel gratitude for this present moment. Don't get caught up in the future. Be present.
- Work with a therapist or coach that will challenge you, to ensure you're doing things for valid reasons, rather than because of ego or fear.
- Create a list of non-negotiable rules, your personal core values. These rules will navigate every decision in your life. Do not ever violate your own rules, this is where confidence disappears.
- Do not allow labels like "Consistency" to define you, when there isn't a net positive or happiness that comes as a result of being consistent. It's okay to skip once in a while, especially on vacations. We each deserve a pause, so stop fearing judgment from others just because you take a break from something.
- Use technology to make your business more efficient, gaining back more valuable time. Do not backfill this newly found time with more work. Use that time for yourself, doing things that make you happy and fulfilled.
- Continue to set goals, but also make time to celebrate and savor them. Reward yourself, instead of always thinking "What's next?"
Remember this;
You won't care about what critics said while in your grave.
Nobody cares who worked the hardest in a graveyard.
Living a rich life has nothing to do with money or status.
The world would be a better place if the best you existed.
-Tony
Personal Development Can Harm Relationships
Your personal development journey will likely push some good people away.😮
This is a difficult truth which rarely gets discussed.
This happens in all aspects of the pursuit of a better you, whether it involves improving your financials, fitness, spirituality, and ironically; your relationships.
You'll lose people that you've considered close friends, maybe even vacationed with them or watched each other's kids grow up. People you've known decades. People you've shown nothing but respect and support towards.
At times, you'll feel confused by these changes, and wonder if you did something wrong to create the current situation. What caused the distance between you?
You begin to search for past evidence of yourself, to see if you did anything unethical or negative, but you don't find anything.
Over that time period, you've become a better person. Your income has increased. Your fitness levels have improved. Your mindset has become stronger and more confident. You've built stronger relationships. You've created more social impact or community influence.
And those are the reasons that some have chosen to move out of your circle. You've indirectly made them feel uncomfortable about themselves, or upset by watching you improve.
Many people will show support while they still sense that you're at the same level or range as them. They are comfortable, and you're predictable. There aren't any disruptions if everyone is in the same comfortable range as each other.
Most never pursue their dreams or ideal self. Sure, they'd love to be in better shape, have better relationships, a more desirable career, have more money, influence or power. They'll send pics of dream homes and cars to each other, knowing that neither will pursue those goals.
Think about how disappointing it must feel to these people, to watch one of their friends actually go all-in and pursue something bigger for themselves.
They've made a lifetime of excuses that they'll relabel as "reasons" to why they can't do something. "Timing isn't right. Don't have the time. Might do it next year. Can't afford it."
But here you are, actually doing it. Showing them that it isn't easy. Demonstrating that you're relentless and driven. Sharing your wins and winning streaks. Watching your trajectory climb in each area of personal goals.
Now they'll sense you've changed levels. They'll pretend you left the circle. They'll say "You've changed" without acknowledging you've actually improved, not just changed.
If they choose to look back to when you were close, they'll find evidence that you always encouraged them. Always supported them. Always loved them. You invited them to come on the same journeys with you, but they declined.
Keep doing what you're doing. If your intentions and morality are positive, and you're doing things for the right reasons, that's all that matters. You'll continue to lose people along the way, but you'll meet new people on the journey.
-Tony
Aspiring Influencers, Speakers, Coaches... Here's the Truth
Aspiring influencers, coaches, and speakers want the results but not the truth😮
It's easy to become distracted by looking at the financial and lifestyle success of those who've built authority, recognition and fame.
You'll observe their appearance, their communication skills, their branding, and their content style. You'll compare yourself and maybe even believe you could do the same, or better.
Watching these influential people, they seem to make everything look so effortless and easy. You wonder why you are working so hard, when you could just do what they are doing.
They'll announce six-figure and seven-figure course launches. Wow! They sold over a million in one weekend? Amazing!
They'll receive six-figure book deals from publishers, on a book that hasn't even been written yet, based on their name.
You'll see them on big stages, alongside big names. They appear on hundreds of podcasts, TV, and in the press and media.
Now for the truth.
Putting aside the frauds that are faking it, there are legitimately successful people in the influencer, speaker, and coaching space. Let's focus on the real deal people for a moment.
Speaking from experience, I've earned six-figures in a week on course launches. I stand on some big stages with big names. I've been on hundreds of podcast interviews, TV, magazines, and even appear in a couple films.
These results are entirely possible. Some of you have even purchased those 997 buck courses from influencers who've had legitimate results, with the roadmap they literally used.
You'll spend thousands on a fancy website or landing pages. You'll invest in all the automations and CRM software. You'll hire a brand strategist, a speaking coach, a video editor.
Some of you are are fortunate to have a sizable financial advantage to hopefully accelerate results.
But you don't get the results that the big names are getting.☹️
Why?
It's because those results you desire won't happen until you've built the audience, the huge email list, the subscribers, the community, the relationships, or the authentic followers.
You're missing the people. Doing this the right way takes YEARS not months. That's the truth people don't want to hear.
It's not easy to build the people. It requires dedicated effort daily, constantly providing value and support of others. It requires building your personal brand and coaching business full-time, just like any other job. If you treat this like a hobby, you should only expect hobby results.
PS: Those with a lot of money are often the first ones to quit at building this. They incorrectly assume their financial wealth can buy faster results. They feel entitled that they can skip the line. Money can buy all the fancy media and digital assets, but it can't buy the people.
It's like going to the gym, results take years. No amount of money can allow you to skip the workout to get the results.
That's the hard truth. 🧡
The Importance of Emotion in Messaging
If you are a coach or consultant and you're struggling to get clients, maybe it's just your message.
First of all, there is the question of integrity and authenticity.
There are people selling the promise of earning a lot of money, who don't seem to have a lot of money.
There are people selling the promise of building your influence or fame, who haven't demonstrated it, themselves. They don't even have a Google knowledge panel for their own name.
There are people selling the hope of a happy and enlightened life, who seem to be drama magnets and basket cases.
There are relationship and dating experts who are divorced a couple times, and are single. But they keep giving advice on it.
If you've made it past the authenticity checks, then there is something more important about your message that you may not understand.
It is the emotion that you are known for providing to your audience.
It's not about what you do, it's about what emotion they feel when they interact with you.
While the amateurs waste a lot of time pitching their products and services, the experts are keyed into the overall emotion that their content is known for.
What ONE emotion do you consistently provide to your audience? Do you know it? Let's hear it.
-Tony
Reinvention & Professional Titles
Here's some advice on professional titles and their marketing value.
Yesterday I was speaking to a group of coaches and a few of them were just starting out their coaching careers.
They were getting too hung up on trying to be creative with their job titles. I can relate, as I did the same back in 2016.
Rather than using "Business Coach", which I thought sounded too boring or basic, I was thinking of using "Business Strategist" or "Entrepreneurship Mentor" or other fancy combinations of words.
This was ego speaking. I wanted an elevated sounding job title, just like we seek in corporate settings. I didn't want to be lumped in with a sea of average business coaches.
The huge problem with trying to be clever with professional titles, is that you miss out on all the search engine results you'd receive by using a title that people actually search for.
Hardly anybody is searching Google for "Entrepreneurship Mentor" or "Business Strategist", no matter how cool that sounds to you.
They are seeking a Business Coach, or an Executive Coach. Possibly even a High Performance Coach. Use titles people actively search for, and chances are you'll get more opportunities for clients finding you.
One of the newer coaches yesterday was struggling with using "Life Coach" because she sees so many frauds in the space, with little actual life experience, and certainly no education or credentials to back up the profession.
She had a masters degree in psychology and also worked as a therapist for several years. She had all sorts of credentials and certifications.
I explained the same ego situation I went through, to bring her clarity.
A generic title doesn't make you a generic coach. Your potential clients will seek out the qualifications and proof from each of the coaches they evaluate to work with, or at least they should.
Use the title that will benefit you with being discovered, not the one that serves your ego or competitiveness. Your results will stand out, if you have them. That's what will separate you from the others.
On another topic; If you truly want to reinvent yourself, you must also have the courage to shed the following:
- Your identity built on previous careers that no longer serve your future.
- The acronyms like "MBA, CPA, PMP" etc. that no longer describe where you're headed (people use these for ego and validation btw)
- Still defining yourself within previous industries that no longer serve you.
- Societal beliefs and actions that limit you from your future.
The courageous ones will get this, they've already moved to the other side of this. The others will wonder if they could do it. The scared will feel defensive about this subject.
-Tony