Your personal development journey will likely push some good people away.😮
This is a difficult truth which rarely gets discussed.
This happens in all aspects of the pursuit of a better you, whether it involves improving your financials, fitness, spirituality, and ironically; your relationships.
You’ll lose people that you’ve considered close friends, maybe even vacationed with them or watched each other’s kids grow up. People you’ve known decades. People you’ve shown nothing but respect and support towards.
At times, you’ll feel confused by these changes, and wonder if you did something wrong to create the current situation. What caused the distance between you?
You begin to search for past evidence of yourself, to see if you did anything unethical or negative, but you don’t find anything.
Over that time period, you’ve become a better person. Your income has increased. Your fitness levels have improved. Your mindset has become stronger and more confident. You’ve built stronger relationships. You’ve created more social impact or community influence.
And those are the reasons that some have chosen to move out of your circle. You’ve indirectly made them feel uncomfortable about themselves, or upset by watching you improve.
Many people will show support while they still sense that you’re at the same level or range as them. They are comfortable, and you’re predictable. There aren’t any disruptions if everyone is in the same comfortable range as each other.
Most never pursue their dreams or ideal self. Sure, they’d love to be in better shape, have better relationships, a more desirable career, have more money, influence or power. They’ll send pics of dream homes and cars to each other, knowing that neither will pursue those goals.
Think about how disappointing it must feel to these people, to watch one of their friends actually go all-in and pursue something bigger for themselves.
They’ve made a lifetime of excuses that they’ll relabel as “reasons” to why they can’t do something. “Timing isn’t right. Don’t have the time. Might do it next year. Can’t afford it.”
But here you are, actually doing it. Showing them that it isn’t easy. Demonstrating that you’re relentless and driven. Sharing your wins and winning streaks. Watching your trajectory climb in each area of personal goals.
Now they’ll sense you’ve changed levels. They’ll pretend you left the circle. They’ll say “You’ve changed” without acknowledging you’ve actually improved, not just changed.
If they choose to look back to when you were close, they’ll find evidence that you always encouraged them. Always supported them. Always loved them. You invited them to come on the same journeys with you, but they declined.
Keep doing what you’re doing. If your intentions and morality are positive, and you’re doing things for the right reasons, that’s all that matters. You’ll continue to lose people along the way, but you’ll meet new people on the journey.
-Tony